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Joke of the Day

"Baby if you were a fruit - you'd be a fine-apple. But if you were a vegetable, I'd visit you in hospital."

"Dr: ... Me: ... D: ... M: ... D: *sighs* Did you stick an orange up your rectum M: No *orange falls out onto floor* D: ... M: *mumbles* yes"

"I'm Not Fucking Stupid .... ... I mean I used to, but we broke up."

"Two duck hunters You know about the two duck hunters who were found dead in Texas? The lawyer for the defence says the accused acted in self defence and that the community says duck lives matter too."

"What do you call a charitable cookie container? A good samoa-tin"

"Why does Yasuo never get locked out? Because he always ""hasaki!"""

"So, it's now officially a week after the Super Bowl, can we please stop with the Super Bowl jokes? They're going right over my head."

"Old ladies are not as fucking helpful as they think they are."

"I've just been rushed to A&E after swallowing some lego.... The doctor's don't seem worried but i'm shitting bricks"

"Everybody is annoying after one hour."