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Joke of the Day

"Everybody is annoying after one hour."

"Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Ahh, those were the days..."

"[judge at restaurant] ""I will try... the lobster"" [2 hours later] ""I find the lobster guilty of money laundering and embezzlement"""

"A priest, a rabbi, two penguins, a giraffe, and an elephant walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""What is this, a joke?"""

"I'd make jokes about midgets, but that would be little of me."

"You people don't appreciate me enough. I'm moving my tweets to TBS."

"I keep having this reoccurring dream Every night I dream I'm constantly changing between being a teepee and a wigwam. I went to the doctor and he told me ""Calm down kid, you're two tents.""."

"Want to hear a knock-knock joke? Two men walk into a bar- knock, knock."

"You can lead a horse to water, but you probably can't do it as well as Sneaky Gary, the serial horse drowner."

"The early bird waits in his car for 20 minutes so as not to seem desperate."