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Joke of the Day

"Two condoms are walking down a street. A gay bar appears. One condom says, ""Hey, wanna get shitfaced?"""

"My friend phoned me up at three in the morning. He said, ""Can you pick me up from the bar?"" I said, ""No mate, my arms aren't that long."""

"My girlfriend called me a pedophile I said, ""That's a pretty big word for a six year old."""

"How do Australians breathe? They exhale"

"Apparently, someone in London gets stabbed every 50 seconds. Poor guy."

"I finished my culinary class final. It was a piece of cake."

"Yo momma is so fat ... She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars."

"I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there."

"Cris Cyborg erupts after 'disrespectful' Joe Rogan jokes she has a penis After Rogan and Hinchcliffe suggested she had a penis."

"What do ladles and crackwhores have in common? They come in multiple sizes and move a lot of hot fluids."