140631
Joke of the Day
"A man tried to sell me a casket today.. I told him that's the last thing I need."
Next Joke
"Knock Knock... *Who's there?* nine-eleven... *nine-eleven who?* **You said you'd never forget!** edit: i accidentally wrote it incorrectly; my sincerest apologies."
"Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says ""open wide"" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date"
"Sorry I misunderstood BYOB, what should I do with this buffalo?"
"I've grown an interest with Mussolini's Italy. I guess you can call it a fascistnation."
"Did you hear Vaseline is coming out with new labels for its petroleum jelly? They're going to have a picture of missing gerbils on it."
"I just burned 2000 calories... That's the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I take a nap!!!"
"Has anyone ever tried Ethiopian food? neither have they"
"These quad copters just can't seem to leave the news... The media and hobbyists just keep droning on and on about them"
"Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on."