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Joke of the Day

"Beer is so smart that if you drink enough, right around your midsection, it builds a shelf for you to rest bottles on."

"Mos Def (Most Definitely.) Hi Def (High. Definitely.)"

"My wife gets kind of bitchy once a month. It usually lasts about 30 days."

"Maybe the Loch Ness Monster is really just giraffes that don't want people to know they like to swim YOU DON'T KNOW"

"chemistry What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? ""HeHe"""

"What did God say when he saw the first black person? Ooops, I burnt one!"

"I like when the ending credits show pictures from the episode I just watched. What a fun trip down memory lane."

"I've heard of trauma causing blindness like when Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles walked in on each other masturbating"

"FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food."

"They weren't pleased that I played I heavy metal song in the church but I resolved it on Gsus"