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Joke of the Day

"Me: *Reaches over, cuts up food, says ""open wide"" & starts making airplane noises* Guy: *stunned silence* -Single Mama on a date"

"Why didn't the Smurfs fit in the house? There wasn't [mushroom](http://i.imgur.com/Yt9AWCO.jpg)"

"What's black, blue, and hates sex? The five year old boy in my basement."

"My signature move is eating a whole bag of something before realizing I don't like it."

"According to my roommate's diary, I have boundary issues."

"What's an emo's favorite file type? .rar"

"How does the Addidas executive work through the night? Three lines"

"May I talk to you about Jesus Christ? - how I get out of any situation"

"What did one radical muslim say to the other after a successful day of bombings? Jihad a chance, and you blew it."

"Son: Dad how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, Usually"