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Joke of the Day
"I swear skinny people without butts eat the most... They're bottomless!"
Next Joke
"I asked my gay friend if he'd like to smoke a fag (cigar) with me He got all upset and said I was really homophonic"
"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags."
"I just felt a weird twitching somewhere inside me. I think it might be my liver waving a white flag."
"Today is National Girlfriend's Day. But it will never be National Marriage Day. The calendar's just not ready for that kind of commitment."
"Why did Princess Leia cry at the end of Return of the Jedi? Her father just died."
"Some choices are easier than others: An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed hair appt. At least if I die my hair will be cute."
"Girls think shrinkage is funny but I just think they're jealous, because the same principal does not apply to them."
"What do you call an exploding horse? Neigh-Palm"
"When coming out of any coma, try keeping your eyes shut for another day or two to see what everyone's saying about you."