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Joke of the Day

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question. Deadheads screw in sleeping bags."

"What is green and goes backwards at 1000 miles per hour/ (Snorts)"

"My wife and I can't agree on appropriate gardening attire. But she's digging in her heels."

"if it's called morning wood for men then what is it for women.. Morning dew."

"When Bruce Banner gets constipated do you think he turns into the Hulk? - just one of the thoughts I have during important business meetings"

"What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye 'maighty"

"What signal tells you that a politician is lying? The lips are moving"

"Do girls in Asia get tattoos in English on their backs?"

"I'd never snoop through my girlfriend's phone out of love, a deep respect and the inability to crack her password."

"The punchline is ""because he was trying to make ends meat."" You make up the joke. Let's see what you got."