184066

Joke of the Day

"Some choices are easier than others: An emergency doctor's appt vs a much needed hair appt. At least if I die my hair will be cute."

"How do you embarrass an archaeologist? Give him a used tampon and ask him what period"

"I'm so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn."

"Knock knock ""Who's there?"" ""Dejav"" ""Dejav who?"" Knock knock"

"How do you make a hamburger green? Find a yellow cheeseburger and mix it with a blue one!"

"What do you call a black guy who flies a plane? a PILOT, you fucking racist!"

"wanna hear a science joke? Psychology"

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"Q: How many lawyers does it take to plaster a wall? A: It depends how hard you throw them."

"Schrodinger: How's my cat, Doc? Vet: I have good news and bad news.."