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Joke of the Day

"(for this tweet pretend you've heard of the 1999 French film ""Human Resources"") Human Resources 2: This Time it's Personnel"

"What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework ? A firequaker !"

"I've always wanted to be the best dead person ever But the competition is stiff."

"How do you keep a club exclusively for straight edgers? You weed out the rest"

"I don't know, Your Honor. Last thing I remember was the Polaroid picture crying and I was shaking it like a baby andIT WOULDN'T STOP CRYING!"

"The trouble with cops is if one's a douchebag you can't ask to speak to a manager."

"Trump would be an amazing dentist He is against anything that's not white and straight."

"What do you call it when you accidentally drop a flower? An oopsy daisy."

"What's the difference between a chair and an asshole? You are not a chair..."

"What idiot called it British conjoined twins and not chapstick?"