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Joke of the Day

"I just lost my left arm and left leg in an accident. I'm all right now."

"If you play Rebecca Black's ""Friday"" backwards, Satan appears and asks why you have so much fucking time on your hands."

"""A black man follows me when it's sunny outside. When it's cloudy, he goes home."" ""Brick, that's your shadow."""

"If Facebook changed ""poke"" to ""stab"" I would use it all the time."

"What do you call a blonde who dyed her hair brown? Artificial Intelligence"

"Borrowing Money ""Glad to see you, old man. Can you lend me five dollars ?"" ""Sorry, but I haven't a cent with me today"" ""And at home ?"" ""They're all very well, thank you, very well""."

"The Huffington Post just did a fascinating piece on the 9 Greatest Single-Digit Numbers of All Time."

"""It's not you, it's me. "" - twins looking at family photos"

"The worst part of quitting drinking is how few excuses you have for your behavior"

"If you play a NIickelback song backwards you'll hear messages from the illuminant.Even worse, if you play it forward you'll hear NIickelback"