140411

Joke of the Day

"Who is a presents favorite quarterback? Tim TeBOW"

"Where do robo-babies come from? From the computerus."

"HIM: You know what we should do at our wedding reception? [at the same time] ME: Murder-suicide HIM: The chicken dance!"

"Two guys are walking down the street when they see a dog licking its own nuts... First guy says, ""I wish I could do that"" The other replies, ""you should try petting him first"""

"Apparently 1 in 3 households live next door to a pedophile Not me though, I live next to two smoking hot 7 year olds."

"Why did the blind man swing his seeing eye dog around by the tail? He was taking a look around"

"Just ate a bunch of vegetables instead of cheese. One of my children wasn't even observing me. This is the first sign of insanity, right?"

"What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky after getting caught? ""I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election""."

"All the toys under the tree Have now gone completely missing You've been hit by You've been struck by Reverse Santa Claus"

"I just held the door open for a Japanese guy and he said, ""Sank you"" So I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor just like that."