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Joke of the Day

"Just ate a bunch of vegetables instead of cheese. One of my children wasn't even observing me. This is the first sign of insanity, right?"

"I bet people who are actually from West Philadelphia get really tired of telling people where they were born and raised."

"I'm such a slave to the man working on a Saturday night. A drunk slave but whatever. Atleast my e-mails to my boss are hilarious now."

"A guy named Charles lived in a foreign country for many many years. When he came back, everyone started calling him ""Harles"". Why? Because long time, no c.."

"""Hey Fred"" Yeah Barney? ""The Bee Gees have no hot chicks in the band"" Yeah but ABBA do!"

"Whats the difference between a Mod and a cheat? Mods can be [deleted]"

"Why are ducks always sad? Because of their bills"

"well, 75% of you passed math and will not have to come to summer school [from the back] ""what about the other 65% of us?"""

"My dog is so excited about me washing the car that I'm starting to think he borrows it while I'm asleep"

"How do you know if you're sitting in a gay bar? If someone comes up behind you and offers to push your stool in"