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Joke of the Day

"I just held the door open for a Japanese guy and he said, ""Sank you"" So I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor just like that."

"Two belts walk into a bar one was already waisted."

"What is pink and has seven dents in it? Snow White's virginity."

"Hear about the kidnapping at school? Don't worry he woke up"

"The Jewish Dad A Jewish kid asks his dad for $50. His dad replies ""$40?! What the hell do you need $30 for?!"""

"I told my grandpa he should wear his hearing aids but he won't listen"

"What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood? Logger-rhythms."

"What's harder the softer it gets? Typing withw my peniuasd 9damnit!)"

"My kid's insults to each other: ""you have fat lips like Momma."" ""well, you have a big butt like Momma. Thanks, kids."

"What did the sweet potato say to the Israelites. ""I am but a Yam"""