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Joke of the Day

"I just held the door open for a Japanese guy and he said, ""Sank you"" So I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor just like that."

"Studies show that, on average, humans kept in cubicles live just as long as free-range humans."

"How do you make a little girl cry twice? You wipe your dick on her teddy bear after!"

"Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years."

"Roses are Red, Violets are Blue... ...Vodka costs less than dinner for two"

"Why did the bunny find some extra green in his paycheck? Because he put in a little extra clovertime."

"Randomly screaming and moaning in agony is a great way to get a seat by yourself on a packed bus."

"Whats the opposite of nickle back? Bill front (Money jokes i got em)"

"My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that."

"How do you get your girlfriend to fart? Pull out"