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Joke of the Day

"I'm sitting outside drinking myself into a stupor. I may feel like shit tomorrow but by God, so will the mosquitoes."

"The past, the present and the future had a meeting. It was tense in there."

"A police man saw a black man beating up an old lady. Why didn't he do anything? Because he wasn't racist!"

"Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that."

"When your nose is running and your feet smell, you are not sick you're just built upside down."

"A Horse Walks Into A Bar And the bartender says ""Why the long face?"" The horse replies, ""My alcoholism is destroying my family"""

"What's the difference between ""like"", ""love"" and ""showing off""? Spit, Swallow and Gargle."

"Fart when people hug you. It makes them feel strong."

"What happens when a carpenter drinks with his wife? He gets hammered and she gets nailed."

"What do you call a broken can-opener? A can't opener."