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Joke of the Day

"Oohh, you play bass, as in the guitar. I thought you played bass, like the fish. I would've paid to see that."

Next Joke
 
"Drinking light beer is like having sex in a canoe... ... fucking near water"
"*Buying flowers* Sales girl: Would you like the receipt? Me: Sure! If they don't work, I'll be bringing them back."
"HOBBIES INCLUDE: - Whispering dark secrets to animals - Trying to get a strawberry seed out of my teeth - Being vegan, but also eating steak"
"What's blue and fucks old people? Me in my lucky blue coat."
"Why doesn't the U.S. government allow students to visit North Korea? They become victims of youth-in-asia!"
"If my wife comes to bed nude it's ON, but when it's me at the end of the bed naked she's all ""what are you doin, we're at Mattress City."""
"What is the ultimate definition of trust? Two cannibals going down on each other"
"What is it called when Lebron James has sex? Bron-choitus"
"My wife asked me ""What's on the TV?"" - I said ""Dust!"""