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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to major in Philosophy when I go to college... ...so one day I can ask '*Why* do you want fries with that?'"

"Have you heard of Evil Knievals brother Ku Klux Knievel? He once tried to jump 50 black mean on a steamroller."

"Why are emo people so good at ping-pong? Because they are well practiced in cutting."

"I bet you that Michael J. Fox was just shaking in anticipation for this day."

"Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT"

"You heard about the guy who stole that calendar right? he got 12 months ...I'll see myself out"

"A Texas sheriff found a black man who was shot 12 times. He said it was the worst case of suicide he'd ever seen."

"""i'll be back"" --arnold schwarzenegger getting into a 2-man horse costume"

"Redditor and the Hooker . . . you won't *BELIEVE* what she told him! Keep the LPTs and give me my sixty dollars."

"What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is when you use a feather, kinky is when you use the whole chicken"