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Joke of the Day

"[interview for CIA] Your resume says you're a master in hand-to-hand wombat. Is that a typo or- *I've already thrown a wombat at his face*"

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"tits What does one saggy tit say to another saggy tit? ""If we keep on sagging like this, they might think we're nuts!"""
"Paul has a kid It's appalling"
"What do you call 4 Mexicans trying to cross a river? Quatro-cinco"
"A good woman is like home WiFi: Full of knowledge. Always there for you. Used by your roommate WHEN YOU'RE NOT THERE THAT'S RIGHT AMY I KNOW"
"'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later"
"A twist on a Thanksgiving classic . . . Written by my twelve-year-old brother: Q: April showers bring May flowers. What do May flowers bring? A: Separatists and small pox."
"i want to take one of those cruises where people shit right there on the boat but apparently they only happen randomly as a surpris,e"
"When asked if he had ever had a threesome Chuck Norris replied... ""Yeah."""
"I love 12 year old porn. If you ask me, 2003 was just the golden age of porn with the best and sexiest adult actors of our generation."