118682

Joke of the Day

"What is the worst part about screwing a 7 year old kid? Getting the blood stains out of your clown costume."

"What do you say to a person who calls a black fence a gate? No, a fence."

"There's a fine line between flirty and creepy. And that line is called being good looking."

"What's Hitler's favorite part of a golf course? The bunker"

"""What's a VCR?"" My 10yo instantly making me feel like the oldest person who has ever lived. I need calcium chews for my brittle bones."

"Unintentionally Offensive Word Nerd Pickup Line Do you feel stupid? 'Cause your ass a nine. Like, asinine? ...I'll show myself out"

"Why isn't there a Jared's for boys? Oh wait, there is."

"Say ""Literally"" and ""Legit"" a few more times in that sentence so I know it's literally legit"

"I asked for your advice but now I'm angry with you because I don't like your advice."

"I'm not comfortable with the fact that there's a skeleton inside me."