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Joke of the Day

"*Godzilla screeching in pain as he accidentally steps on Legoland*"

"I can't stand this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge, you're coming to my room."

"Donald Trump: nobody can out crazy me Lena Dunham: here, hold my beer"

"Now that the Australian dollar is worth 0.70 USD.. Can we just call it the Feminist Dollar?"

"""MY HERO!"" ""My hero."" --Guy who got his sandwich stolen, then saved by a stranger"

"I like my women like I like my coffee.... Black and full of semen."

"why did the cookie go to the doctors? ... because he felt crumby!"

"My husband has a blanket pulled up over his face. I think this means he wants me to talk to him."

"What do you call a bell wearing a tutu ? A bellerina !"

"I got free admission for life at SeaWorld For being an Orca Whale."