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Joke of the Day

"I got to know that there are 15 child molesters in my area... So why do we always have to meet at my place? (Credits: Anthony Jeselnik)"

"I play hard to get; if it's hard, you're getting it."

"I imagine a few times before he got it right, Jesus turned water into wine coolers."

"Last time I did drugs I dated an All-In-One Printer for 3 days, so no thank you."

"What is a pirate's favorite pokemon? Arrrriados"

"Why do people say raw sewage. Saying raw makes it sound like it becomes better if cooked properly."

"What's is the outcome of a soccer game between Ethiopia and Jamaica? Half of the grass gets eaten and the other half gets smoked"

"When Chipotle says, ""Guacamole is $1.50 extra, is that ok?"" I pause, then say, ""Hang on, let me call my financial advisor."""

"I heard that Hillary Clinton is actually made of tofu. She's white, bland, uninspiring and not tasty unless dipped in melty cheese."

"A tachyon leaves a bar... The bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."