94538

Joke of the Day

"I can't believe I just stopped a girl from being rapped. I got tired and stopped chasing her."

"What's the difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut? About 3 weeks."

"Jesus was in his room masturbating when Joseph walked in... Joseph sees him and says ""Jesus fucking Christ!!"""

"Q: Which of the following doesn't belong: wife meat eggs blow job? A: The blow job. You can beat your wife your eggs or your meat; but you just can't beat a blow job."

"i wonder if... a receptionist at a sperm bank ever says ""thanks for coming"""

"Follow your dreams. Search through your dreams mail. Show up drunk on your dreams doorstep. Kidnap your dreams. Never let your dreams go."

"Whispered ""I love you"" to my 2 yo. He whispered ""I know"" back. And w/that, he put his hand down the front of his diaper, and became a pimp."

"Today I really missed my Ex I think I need a better scope."

"Women need to learn that ""most of my friends are guys"" just means you have a list of dudes who are trying to bone you."

"Why are they using two ply toilet paper in Russia? Because authorities want a carbon copy of all matters."