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Joke of the Day

"If I had a time machine I'd go back to 900 A.D. and just scare the shit out of people with an electric toothbrush."

"I think I speak for Earth when I say that I'm ready for Justin Bieber to turn to hard drugs and squander his wealth, eventually losing fame."

"What is created when you rub two oranges together? Pulp Friction"

"Why is Chuck Norris still alive? ## Because he's afraid of meeting Bruce Lee on the other side! Credit: Saw the comment in this [tribute video](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8wL3AA4BP0) [1:55]"

"How do you know when your roommate is gay? When his dick tastes like shit."

"No one ever gets my jokes about UDP."

"I had an eight course Irish dinner tonight. A six pack of beer, a potato, and a glass of whiskey to finish it off."

"What do you call porn with transgender midgets? Micro trans action."

"Why does a seagull fly over the sea? Because if it flew over the bay it would be a bagel!"

"If Apple releases a car... will it have Windows?"