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Joke of the Day

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"What do you call an egg that is neither good nor bad? Mediyolkre."

"Appreciate this tweet. Appreciate it because I tweeted it stealthily on the plane AFTER they told me to turn my phone off twice."

"The job interviewer asked about my previous experience. ""Well,"" I began, ""I got the bus. Got lost for a while, walked down some narrow roads and I ended up here."""

"I was going to buy some Veet wax strips, but then i realized they were a rip-off"

"How does a witch make scrambled eggs ? She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright ! 'Owl be seeing you later.'"

"Ever since Peter was rejected by another girl again, I feel nervous every time he enters the school building. But I'm sure he brings that gun for self-defense purpose."

"To the guy in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket... You can hide, but you can't run"

"If my neighbors are gonna get angry every time I see them... why did I even buy the binoculars?"

"*loses 100 pounds in the US* yes *loses 100 pounds in England* no"