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Joke of the Day

"I took my family out to an authentic Vietnamese place. My wife and I had pho. The kids sewed Nikes for 14 hours and were beaten. Great pho."

"Definition of 1ply toilet paper. Finding your inner self."

"I think some drugs should be legalized... but cocaine is where I draw the line."

"I know someone who talks like an owl"

"God came to earth to look for robbers who worshipped him ... But found most of them atheist."

"What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?"

"How many black guys does it take to do the work of one white guy? It depends on how big his plantation is."

"Lost my wristwatch at a party once. A guy stepped on it while sexually harassing a girl. I punched him straight in the chin, knocking him out. Nobody does that to a girl, not on my watch."

"What do you call a fake noodle? Impasta"

"Why did the bald man draw rabbits all over his head? From a distance they look like hares!"