139590

Joke of the Day

"Has anyone ever seen Matthew McConaughey and a statue made out of overcooked bacon in the same room together"

"A chemistry joke. Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We don't serve noble gases in here."" Helium doesn't react."

"Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away."

"[someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened"

"AC Jokes We're not a fan."

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector"

"How many people does it take to circumcise a Whale? Four Skindivers."

"My dogs wouldn't pee this morning They didn't do squat"

"I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume."

"Reality show idea: ""So You Think You Can Touch Mike Tyson's Nose."" Hidden camera. Tyson isn't in on it."