209517
Joke of the Day
"I was fired after falling asleep on personal documents. Apparently you can't lie on your resume."
Next Joke
"To all the chicks on Twitter who complain about never getting laid, turn your location on."
"Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? They fall through his hands."
"What do you get when you mix liquor and literature.... Tequila Mockingbird"
"My buddy just came over with his eyebrows waxed... The light had them shining so much it looked like both of his eyes just came up with the best idea."
"I love the smell of a camp fire. It reminds me of the night we kille.... .....I just love smell of campfires."
"Cops are kinda weird, asking stupid questions. 'Do you know why I pulled you over?' Cause I have weed in the glove compartment?"
"14 years ago tonight, a loaf of frozen reindeer shit fell from the sky & struck my father, killing him instantly."
"What's the smartest thing to ever come out of a woman's mouth? Albert Einstein's dick."
"How many South American people does it take to screw in a light bulb? A Brazilian"