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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross a mountain climber and a mosquito? Nothing. You can't cross a scaler and a vector"

"What do you call a married knot? Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Tentickles"

"one time i slam dunked a basketball so good we were out of school for a week people just needed time to process"

"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""

"Why didn't Edward get on the plane? Cause it was snowed-in."

"They aren't making foot rulers any longer Why you ask? If it was any longer it wouldn't be a foot"

"what if your dentist is the one idiot who disagrees with the all the other dentists? how would you know?"

"How do Japanese people ask for rice? Samurais?"

"When an eel bites your thigh... ...as you're just swimming by that's a moray."