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Joke of the Day
"Australians don't have sex... ...they mate"
Next Joke
"WIFE: Let's role-play ME: OK W: U be a teacher *I get up & leave* W: Where u going? M: Do u have ANY idea how much paperwork I've got to do?"
"When somebody asks for directions I just say ""follow your heart"" and drive away."
"Apparently there's this Pokemon character that's a pile of garbage with a face so now I'm famous I guess."
"What's better than winning the Special Olympics? Not being retarded."
"So this morning my fiance rolls over and says ,""honey I think I have a fever this morning."" To which I reply, ""pics or didn't happen."""
"What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver? The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green."
"Twilight werewolf Taylor Lautner turns 18 today. That makes him 126 in dog years so, unfortunately, we're going to have to put him to sleep."
"Why'd they call the egg a pimp? Because he got ova easy."
"What are red heads good for? Lighting fires."