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Joke of the Day
"Australians don't have sex... ...they mate"
Next Joke
"Once there was a man who followed the Mongol hordes so that he could catch and sell the injured after battles. He was a mangled Mongle monger"
"Me: I can't seem to lose weight CW: Have you tried cutting back on your sugar intake Me:*stirring coffee with snickers bar* What do you mean"
"[keeps slapping empty glass ketchup bottle until the entire cafe is silent]"
"So embarrassed... ...thought sombody cute was staring at me so i stared back. But then i realized we were both just the negative space around a vase"
"I am not racist ... My shadow is black."
"A Spanish magician.. A Spanish magician says to a crowd ""on the count of three, I will vanish into thin air"" he then starts counting ""uno, dos..."" And all of a sudden he vanishes, without a tres."
"My dick was once in the Guinness Book of Records. World's smallest dick."
"PRO TIP: Name your first child ""butter"", then accidentally take a different baby home just so you can say ""I can't believe it's not butter!"""
"What did they say to the CEO who raise minimum wage to $70,000? Price is right!"