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Joke of the Day
"The bloke who invented the time machine has died. RIP Dave Jones. 1974 1746."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend accused me of sleeping with her sister and I was like, ""How can that be possible when her snoring keeps me up all night?"""
"Why are hot peppers so nosey? cause they're jalapeno business"
"I got in a fight with a coworker yesterday... He struck me as a very offended man."
"A bunch of toilets were stolen from the police department... They have nothing to go on."
"My ex-girlfriend was like an incompetent tailor... She didn't suit me."
"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."
"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."
"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."
"I'm not racist... I own a color tv!"