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Joke of the Day

"If this tweet gets 5 retweets, I will threaten a public official on Facebook."

"NEW BASKETBALL IDEA: oblong basketball that gets thrown down a long field-like court. Maybe we tackle the guy who catches it?"

"You should need a license to be that ugly."

"TIFU by having the bomb squad called to my party. They said it was the bomb."

"Nobody uses DVDs. Most of em' use Torrents. Hence DVD Rip"

"Did you hear about the latest Calvin Klein Lawsuit? Yeah - but it wasn't much of a suit. It was actually a brief case."

"I'm starting to think my crippled neighbor is gay. I am not sure if I should call him a fruit or a vegetable"

"The guy I just cut off thinks he's gonna destroy my car with high beams."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the Fresh Prints!"

"Why can't muslims eat pigs? Because the Quran forbids cannibalism"