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Joke of the Day
"My doctor said I am self destructive That explains why I voted for Hillary Clinton"
Next Joke
"Why don't black people listen to country music? Every time the hear the word hoedown they think their sister's been shot."
"I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is"
"I got kicked out of the procrastinators club when I showed up for our first meeting.."
"Scots vs English Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards. Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf."
"I'm hosting a benefit for people who struggle, to reach orgasm. Let me know if you can't come"
"if seagulls fly over the sea, what flies over the bay? bagels"
"What do you call a 90's sitcom star's inactivated x chromosomes? Roseanne Barr bodies heh"
"My daughter demanded she be treated like a princess... so I married her off to secure an alliance with the French."
"My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker."