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Joke of the Day

"My new girlfriend lets me lick anything off her and I love it. Butter, jam, cheese, you name it she lets me lick it off her. She's a cracker."

"Go away, mosquito. I've already had the blood drained out of me by my job."

"Psychiatrist to the patient: - Your case is clear. You have double personality. Please, pay bill $ 100 for the consultation... - *Keep $ 50. The rest will make the second one*"

"The five senses are touch, smell, sight, hearing, and..... It's on the tip of my tongue..."

"I can tell within seconds of meeting someone if they'd be annoying on a group email."

"My hands got into an argument last night One was right and the other left"

"An Irish walks past a bar. ..."

"Why did the business dog chase his tail? So he could make ends meet!"

"A girl phoned me the other day and said ""Come on over, there's nobody home."" I went over. Nobody was home"

"The Proclaimers walked 500 miles without a Fitbit?"