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Joke of the Day

"I know blood in horror movies is just corn syrup, but it's still terrifying because at this point, that's basically all my blood is"

"Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them"

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are sold for a couple of dollars, and deer nuts can be found under a buck."

"What does a Dalek do in the shower? EXFOLIATE!"

"Why did all the gay people in china go out to vote? They thought it was erection day"

"They say us men all think with our dicks... but all I want is a woman who will blow my mind."

"Made a mistake while drawing with my crayons. Can't erase. I guess the dragon will just have to have disproportionately large nipples..."

"Fox News: Witnesses are telling us Michael Brown may have charged Officer Darren Wilson atop a dragon, wielding a poison-tipped broadsword"

"Terri Schiavo jokes will always be funny They don't have the right to die."

"A retired sergeant was asked: ""Well how do you like civilian life?"" ""Terrible"" he said gruffly ""all those people around and nobody in charge!"""