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Joke of the Day

"Minimalism... It's the least you can do."

"So I was using a zester on a lemon recently, when I paused for a second and realised... ..that I was only just scratching the surface."

"I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I just don't know Y I'll show myself the door."

"Q: Why should you keep a blonde on the job 7 days a week? A: So you don't have to retrain them every Monday."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Hit that faggot with your car."

"Hey friend wanna hear a joke ? Another time."

"If I got 50 cents for every math exam I failed... I'd have $7.35 now."

"Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 ""hits""; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels."

"What do you call a Rhinoceros in heat? Horny."

"Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up"