223684
Joke of the Day
"If I got 50 cents for every math exam I failed... I'd have $7.35 now."
Next Joke
"What do you call a kitten who accidentally eat all your pills? A Caterpillar"
"I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they're such big fans but probably can't even name 3 of his songs."
"My boss asked if I had Facebook and I said sure and gave up the link. Then she asked about twitter. After an awkward silence I said, huh?"
"""Every cloud has a silver lining."" - Terribly inaccurate meteorologist"
"What idiot called it an auction instead of serious bidness?"
"A nurse finds a rectal thermometer in her pocket... and says ""Oh dammit some asshole has my pen!"""
"I'm the Neighbor the news interviews who says the family that was murdered deserved it bc they wore holiday turtlenecks."
"How to be happier: 1. Exercise 2. Lift weight 3. When you've become stronger due to those exercises, smack the person who made you unhappy."
"So many women, so little time to disappoint them all."