12528

Joke of the Day

"Reminding Dad I'm too old for adoption really bums him out because that was one of his favorite threats when I was growing up"

"My run today was like my last date. Short, slow, and frigid."

"When it's ""buy one, get one free,"" I have them put the free one in a separate bag so I don't get them mixed up."

"What is it called when a cow is unwillingly milked? **Moo**lestation"

"How many optometrist does it take to screw in a light bulb? 1... or 2?? Or 1? Or 2?"

"We live in a society that's the most knowledgeable about a zombie apocalypse, but the most likely to be eaten while staring at our phones."

"To the Critics whom reviewed The Interview poorly because they are afraid of arrival the North Korean overlords take over of U.S.A because of film, I have one word for you: Traitors"

"Why can the Cornish always lend a hand? They probably have a spare."

"If I mess up at the beginning of a video game I just start over. This rule applies to life too. Used wrong exit on Fwy, calling it a day..."

"I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey But then I turned myself around"