227744

Joke of the Day

"Buddy, If you get in a fight with me there'll only be 2 ""hits""; You hitting me and my screams of pain hitting 100 decibels."

"What's the difference between a dog and your best friend? The dog doesn't fuck your wife and walk the house in your robe"

"Once you go black you never go back... Fuck."

"Netflix just announced it's raising the price and changing it's slogan to ""One movie you wanna see and a thousand others you never heard of"""

"A guy noticed his friend was late for work... ""Where have you been?"" he asked. ""To my mother-in-law's burial."" ""Then why the scratches on your face?"" ""She kept resisting, that old fart."""

"Man didn't invent the wheel It invented itself after seeing Chuck Norris."

"How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis"

"What's the rule for Twitter crushes? So far I'm in love with 800 women, 2 dudes, and a llama. Send condoms."

"What is a dog's favourite Easter treat? Jelly bones!"

"Waitress: ""Hi, my nam-"" Me: ""Vodka martini, please."""