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Joke of the Day

"Things that are dangerous- -riding a motorcycle -sharks -riding sharks"

"Saw sign in yoga store: Do One Thing A Day That Scares You. So today I start raping coyotes."

"How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Just follow the Fresh Prints"

"When Santa's helpers take pics of themselves is it called an Elfie?"

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"Alcohol is claiming me as a dependent on his taxes this year."

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking? He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle."

"Where does a race on the Swedish border end at? The Finnish line."

"I asked my doctor where to put my pants during my prostate exam. ""Over there next to mine"" was not the answer I expected."