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Joke of the Day
"Saw sign in yoga store: Do One Thing A Day That Scares You. So today I start raping coyotes."
Next Joke
"WIFE: why do we even need a gun in the house ME: *fires off 8 rounds just to kill a spider* that's why"
"What does Snoop Dogg use to wash his clothes? bleotch!!"
"How many rocks did Hank Schrader have in his collection by the end of Breaking Bad? None, they were all minerals."
"What do you call an ant sized villain? The *ant*agonist."
"DJ Daemon maintains the beats in the background."
"Soup: for when you want to be hungry again in 20 minutes"
"What do you call a woman in the living room? A tourist."
"What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? [NSFW] Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A: A hooker can wash and resell her crack."
"""Pay attention, 007; this might look like an ordinary suitcase but, if you push this button, a handle comes out and you can wheel it."""