172397

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Catholic Priest and acne? Acne doesn't come on your face until you're 13."

"Heard this one at the bar last night: Women are good for 70 things... Making sandwiches and 69."

"I work at a UPS store where we employ mentally challenged people It has its ups and downs."

"Jesus would be a great porn star. His second cumming is biblical in proportion."

"What do you call Murayan Sukumaran's new wife? A necrophiliac."

"Its the last day of the year.... Just felt I should thank everyone who made me smile this year. You are one of them so here's a big THANK YOU."

"What's the smartest piece of lab equipment? A graduated cylinder."

"Him: I'd be happy to (using finger quotes) screen the applicants. Me: I'd be happy to (using finger quotes) testify in the harassment suit."

"A Diamond Comes home to his Coal wife and Coal Child He says ""I've been under a lot of pressure lately (Edit: Just realized this was on the front page gaddamit)"

"What's the aim of a Jewish football match? Getting the quarterback."