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Joke of the Day

"Friends with benefits who are bad at sex ...are hard to come by."

"The Jolly Green Giant is into bondage. I guess you could call him a collared green."

"My sister was gangraped by the New York Philharmonic It was orchestrated."

"My wife told me I'm funny. According to her, even having sex with me is a joke."

"Why did the electrician multiply distance and voltage? Because he forgot his voltmeter at home."

"Here's a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management"

"How do you know Putin's doing well this election? He's taking over the Poles."

"Sometimes I like to mix things up by going big and then also going home."

"I'll be serving Eggs Benedict on hubcaps for Christmas breakfast. Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise."

"sorry I had to unfriend you on Facebook after you accepted my Facebook friend request one second after I sent it to you at 3 in the morning"