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Joke of the Day

"The greatest trick the Devil ever played is where he touches my chest and says ""What's that?"" and I look down and he flicks my nose."

"What's the last thing a Tickle-Me Elmo gets before leaving the factory? Two test-tickles!"

"Knock Knock *Who's there?* 9/11 *9/11 who?* YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET"

"""Rolls Royce"" is my favorite car that sounds like an Australian describing a sushi chef"

"Where do you find the best tofu in the entire world?"

"On dating sites, some of the options for 'body type' should be, 'Vending machine', 'deformed walrus' and 'pudding in garbage bag'."

"What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain? MUH SOGGY KEYS!"

"[restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN"

"Cheating in a joke. A man cheats on his girlfriend Lorraine with a woman named Clearly. Lorraine dies suddenly. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, ""I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."""

"What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus? Crisp Cringle."