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Joke of the Day

"What did the Men's Right's Activist say when he left his piano out in the rain? MUH SOGGY KEYS!"

"A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a dead body."

"I accidentally just laughed at something my 4-year-old did so now I have to pretend to laugh as she does it forty thousand more times."

"You don't have to be good at anagrams to see that Pope Benedict is an Epic Bent Pedo."

"If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?"

"""This is the best acid ever. I totally should write some children's books now."" ~ Dr. Seuss"

"What do you call a cowshed in Arabic? A Mubarak"

"What do boxes breathe? Boxygen"

"When you were in the gang then, you just had to look cool, just walk around and look like you were tough. Someone started talking about fighting 'No, man, I've got to go home.'"

"Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep."