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Joke of the Day

"[restaurant] WAITER: [brings bill] ME: I got this DATE: Thanks ME: [gets out piggy bank] [hits it w/ hammer] [it is filled w/ bees] ME: RUN"

"""Never go to bed angry"" is some solid advice if you want to stay up until 3am fighting"

"The answer is ""preludes"" Name something Bill Cosby gives to nuns."

"PSA: Please don't call them dwarves... It's not the proper gnomenclature."

"I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual."

"You know, Professional Wrestling is lot like the country of China. 90% of the stuff they do is Fake."

"so apparently there is no such thing as a valentine santa and i'm not sure whose lap i just sat on at the mall."

"I just saw two people having aggressive sex while camping. They were fucking in tents."

"A farmer in the field with his cows counted 196 of them, but when he rounded them up he had 200."

"Why is Jesus' body bread? Because given enough time it rises"