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Joke of the Day

"A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender yells at him to get out, saying, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" The mushroom replies, ""Why not? I'm a fun guy."""

"I tried to propose to my girlfriend from Thailand today but it went wrong. As soon as i got down on one knee she started undoing her skirt"

"I dropped my phone in the toilet, so I put it in a bowl of rice, and waited for the Asians to come and fix it."

"Daughter: How was your day, Daddy? Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS!?!"

"Polynesian Hey, ever heard of the homesick, nymphomaniac Polynesian girl? Yeah, she kept longing for Samoa...."

"Keep the Earth clean! Its not Uranus."

"Chuck Norris is the only person who can simultaneously hold and fire FIVE Uzis: One in each hand, one in each foot -- and the 5th one he roundhouse-kicks into the air, so that it sprays bullets."

"If the angel Gabriel came from heaven how was he so sure that Mary was pregnant?"

"Why was the necrophiliac depressed? His rotten girlfriend split on him."

"Whats long and hard and has cum in it ................... A cucumber :)"