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Joke of the Day
"Why was the necrophiliac depressed? His rotten girlfriend split on him."
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"""I don't care how goodlooking you are if you don't have any brains."" -Zombies"
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."
"Four ply humor. My wife asks me? I want a boob job. I told her, rub some toilet paper between your tits. You wipe your ass with it all the time. Look how big your ass is."
"If you ever see me on my death bed, please take me off my death bed & move me to my alive bed thx"
"Breaking up with Asians is so hard. You have to drop the bomb twice before they get the message."
"Why can't two melons get married? Because they cantaloupe."
"How many friend-zoned guys does it take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."
"My fake plant died Because I didn't pretend to water it."