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Joke of the Day

"Keep the Earth clean! Its not Uranus."

"One day on Mercury lasts about 1,408 hours. About the same as a common Monday on Earth."

"Pregnancy tests in movies are so weird... She hands him the test and he stands there holding this stick of pee like it isn't a stick of pee"

"Why does a farmer fuck his sheep at the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back."

"Ever see a jack ass wrapped in plastic? If not... Look at your drivers license."

"So a guy named Steve asked how well he did during making an Apple product. ""You did good Job!"" Sad the person he asked."

"Heard about the statistician who liked to kick back with his feet in the oven and his head on a bucket of ice? On the average, he was quite comfortable."

"Good news for insomniacs! Only one more sleep until Christmas!"

"I played tennis with a eunuch once... No competition, the balls were in my court."

"I was writing an essay when Keanu Reeves busted in and told me that there's a bomb on my computer and if my typing speed fell below 50 wpm, the whole laptop would explode."