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Joke of the Day

"""Wanna come to a party?"" ""Sure. I'd love to spend two whole hours standing around while people recommend TV shows to me I'll never watch."""

"Man drowned in Muesli Got pulled in by a strong currant"

"Never own a pet store. Stores make bad pets."

"Today I masturbated 8 times! A personal record for me... In my defence Schindler's list was a long film"

"Which of Santa's reindeers needs to mind his manners the most? ""Rude""olph"

"""I shot the sheriff but I did not shoot the deputy"" is my favorite lyric about murdering law enforcement officials in moderation."

"Jesus Christ walks into a motel and drops a handful of nails on the counter. He asks Can you put me up for the night ?"

"Just dismissed my low battery warning while watching a p*rn. It's a fight to the finish now."

"Some of you should not be allowed to procreate and if you have to google what procreate means, then I'm talking about you in particular."

"Time flies like an arrow.. Fruit flies like a bananna"