49613

Joke of the Day

"Never own a pet store. Stores make bad pets."

"If Betty White killed someone, I wouldn't turn her in."

"A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything was last year."

"Did you hear about that amazing joke that Jesus told as he was dying? I don't know the joke, but apparently he nailed the execution."

"My friend composes lyrics about sewing machines. She's a Singer songwriter."

"What do you call a pirate who is lost at sea and has to drink his own pee to survive? Aarrrrrrr Kelly!"

"Just ran into Bjork walking into her hjotel. Ljoking fjorward to her show at Pitchfjork tjonight (hjoly shit my Icelandic is pjerfect)."

"Hi, I want to get a tattoo to express my individuality. Do you mind if I look through this book of tattoos you've done for other people?"

"What did the sadist say when the masochist said ""Hit me""? ""No."""

"Why do they call chicken wings, chicken wings? Cuz they go flyin' out of your butt after you eat them!"